One of the Admin on the UK Bloggers (fantastic group for all bloggers) asked last week what made their members blog? It can take me a while to think about things and get an answer straight in my head so here are the results of my thinking!
I have Me & Fibromyalgia, I also have chronic degenerative disc disease in my lower back and in my neck too, everything I have seems to cause me no end of pain, plus i seem to be very anemic a lot!
I don’t mean a little bit of pain i take 50mg of morphine a day for it, I never get a full nights sleep because of it, I have had nerves cauterised, discs decompressed, physiotherapy which was hell on earth and wrecked me for months after…
The fatigue or exhaustion is overwhelming, it can take hours to plan or get myself into the shower, I sometimes don’t even feel refreshed after, just even more pain and exhaustion its a never-ending cycle of pain and complete exhaustion.
After a really bad spell that had laid me up in bed badly, I looked in the mirror and realised it had been such a long time since I had seen myself … the real me!!
All I saw was greyness and pain….. i still get weeks like this a lot but if i can focus for an hour on my blog then i have achieved even the smallest thing and i don’t beat myself up so much.
I had totally lost myself to pain, it had completely taken my over and from that day on I made a promise to myself that no matter what or how bad I was I would do one simple thing and that was to wash my face, I realise a simple task such as this sounds like nothing to a normal person but it was a big thing for me and the start of trying to be kind to myself and look after myself better!
I knew if I managed to make it out my front door then at least I wouldn’t be ashamed to meet people because I could always tie my hair back but grey pallor and a face that showed only pain would have stopped me going out on the days that I could get out.
So that’s where it all started for me and as my love of skin care and beauty products grew that is where I have found my joy, passion and escapism, which for me has grown and grown.
I have never been a lazy person and always worked hard all my life, i have gone from working at 100mph to -100mph, it has been very hard to take in and understand, gone are my real life friends, the either got fed up with my being ill or didn’t believe me and i was just a joke to them, same with the rest of my family, it would be a cold day in hell before any of them would ask how i was or showed any care, all learnt the hard way …
Now I blog to not only natter about what I love but to keep my brain ticking over, it is and can be a major battle to get the words on the page, bit like trying to see though pea soup …
I’d like to thank anyone who has taken the time to read any of my blog posts, I really appreciate it and i would also like to thank my brother Lennie who supports me endlessly and were it not for him I would not be here and my 3 beautiful cats who make my flat a home (they are spoilt rotten 🙂 )
Little things and small blessings all add up and I am grateful for every one of them … so this is truly why I blog 🙂 to be able to see and think through the pain and exhaustion, every time I hit that publish button I get a massive sense of achievement that I managed to get a blog post done!
I am on an eternal quest for fantastic beauty products to help body and mind ..
Why do you blog? I would love to hear what started you off on your journey x
I have not written this post for sympathy i am way beyond that now thankfully, just a little understanding for the illness and for others hopefully … it is a very hard fought socially isolating illness and not enough is known about it but we all live in hope that someday a solution will be found!
Bye for now